Did you know that you have the power to become invincible? The power to become a Superhero in your life? Well you do and you’ll find it residing in seemingly the least likely of places – it lies within your own vulnerability.
This does sound rather oxymoronic and at first glance it is, but think about it – what stops you from being ‘you’ most of the time? What makes you wear masks in different situations, putting you constantly on the back foot with the fear that your mask will slip and you’ll show your soft underbelly to the world?
It’s your feeling of being vulnerable.
When you’re happy with your own vulnerabilities, you remove any hold that another may have over you. If you’ve found yourself dealing with an emotional predator, you’ll know what I mean – they tap into your inner vulnerabilities, your feelings of shame and unworthiness and the bits of yourself you would rather keep hidden from the world… become OK with all these parts of yourself and there’s nothing for the predator to manipulate any more.
How many times have you reacted with anger to someone in a much stronger way than intended? That’s often the result of someone getting a little too close to your inner vulnerabilities than you’d like, resulting in a shocking outburst that leaves you and others thinking “What the hell was that about?!”
Anger is often a direct result of feeling vulnerable in some way – SARAH JANE PERRETT
Imagine not having those triggers inside you, not having that uncomfortable and unexpected leap into a rage, remaining calm and centred, even in really trying circumstances – how wonderful would that feel?
Once you drop the need to hide your true self, you gain so much power in your life. Think of how different you’d feel being OK with being totally you. No covering up this bit and that bit, then having to remember which version of ‘You’ you portray in different areas of life – how liberating is that?! You can drop the act – what a relief! And when you do you’ll find that others feel relief too – they can start being themselves around you – what a relief for them. You’ll find yourself connecting on a deeper level with others than ever before – it’s a great feeling.
You’ve heard the term ‘Being Real’, well this is the ultimate version of that. Real, authentic, genuine you – no masks or clever tricks, just a gloriously imperfect human being that has the strength and courage to show their true selves – now, that IS a Super Power!
In her book ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’, Brené Brown calls making peace with vulnerability being ‘Wholehearted’.
This is a great way to describe the state you reach when coming out the other side. Think about all the missed opportunities for connection with others through relationships, parenting, family or work that could have opened up if you were comfortable to put yourself ‘out there’, if you didn’t need to hide parts of your heart away for fear of being hurt. Opening your heart to all experiences, wanted and unwanted – that is being truly Wholehearted. By not holding back in any way you can enjoy the experience by being fully immersed in it, enjoying the good bits and with the knowledge that if all goes wrong, everything will be OK because you’re OK with everything.
So how can we reach this point of power? It can feel unreachable. You’ve spent a lifetime learning clever tricks and ways to cover up any areas you feel any sort of vulnerability in, so it’s a case of learning to do things a bit differently. This is not necessarily a quick fix – it takes dedication and you’ll probably find it very challenging. Just as Superman has to go through difficult times and fight the bad guys to win the day, you’ll have bad days and clash laser beams with your bad guy (your reactive ego), but if you go through the process and attain the skills to do this, your life will change dramatically and in very positive ways.
Hold fast, it could be a rather bumpy ride, but there’s a gold Superhero badge awaiting you at the end…
In Part 2 of this series, we look at the first of 4 steps you can take to begin your journey to becoming Wholehearted, authentic and unlocking your Super Power.
To order Brené Brown’s ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’, click here